Goodbye Love
by Rose DiVerona
Summary: My farewell to RENT. I fell for something I would never have thought possible.


A/N: So...RENT goes off Broadway today. I'm sure I'm not the only one with a heavy heart, and not the only one who will be sharing their goodbyes to this truly beautiful musical today. Oh, I'll keep writing in the section. Of course; you'd have to drag me away. But we all know it won't be the same.

I don't know if anyone else had this idea, but this is sort of from Mark's POV, and sort of from the whole musical's POV. And everything is really my feelings about it. With a rather lengthy farewell in the second author's note...

Disclaimer: Of course not. If I owned it, I wouldn't let it leave the stage. R.I.P. Jonathan Larson. Thanks for everything.

* * *

**Goodbye Love**

Hi.

September 7th, 2008. Don't really care what the time is. Does it matter?

I'm talking to myself, anyways, and if I don't care, I guess you, whoever you are, don't care, either.

The world ended today.

I mean, not technically. But it seems like it right now. Like there's a huge chunk missing out of my heart, and no matter how hard I try to ignore it, I can't. Have you ever felt like that? If you have, you'll understand the ache in my soul, the lump in my throat, the tears building in my eyes.

If not…this tale isn't for you. Go enjoy your innocence, because you don't need to hear this.

This is the final scene, I suppose you could say, in this particular story. My story. And the story of my friends.

Looking back now, it seems amazing we could ever be so…happy. We weren't exactly innocent then, not by any count…but we were naïve to _this_. If we'd had any idea of the measure of real sorrow, I wonder if we would have allowed ourselves to go on acting as if life was standing still and we'd have forever.

Sure, I remember 'No day but today.' I remember that the story isn't supposed to end. Ever. And it won't. Because there's always another chapter, later on. At least an epilogue. But my part is winding down. My climactic exit, which really isn't going to be so climactic at all, is drawing closer.

I'll accept it with open arms.

I'm not frightened. Sad? Sure…but the tears I may or may not shed will not be those of grief, but those of joy. Because of the years I was permitted to have, gaily living life to its fullest even when sometimes all I wanted to do was curl up in the corner and die. And because my life has been changed for the better.

I've been given the chance to share my final comments with you. And when life hands you those kinds of chances, you take them. Maybe someday you'll understand. I hope not.

I guess you could say I'm famous. My name may not be a common household name, but I wouldn't want it that way, anyhow. Because those of you who already know this story, and who have stayed true to the end – you won't let the tale die. It's enough for me to know that after I go, perhaps I will be able to affect more people than I did while I was here. Sad events have a way of bringing people together.

I use these words – 'go' and 'here' – to dispel any rumors that I'm dying. Did I ever say I was going to die? No. I'm going away for a while, that's all. But it won't be the same when I come back.

But I was going to tell you my story, wasn't I?

There isn't much to tell, and yet at the same time, the story could go on for eternity.

You know how they say that before you die, your whole life flashes before your eyes? I may not be dying, but I can see my whole life trailing behind me.

And I don't regret a single thing.

I had a _life_. I loved, I learned, and I _lived_. I learned acceptance and survival and passion. Who can ask for anything more?

I had friends. And now that our tale is ending, for now, we get the chance to start over. We're all here to give you our grand farewell.

You wanna know what really ties everything together? Don't laugh, don't scoff – because I _know _I'm right, and you do, too. It's just one thing: love.

Love is what brings all of us into the world, right?

Love is what floats us through the good times, carries us in the bad. What we count on when nothing else is reliable.

And love heals everything.

Trust me – I've watched it happen. I've _experienced _it.

I didn't always have such a firm belief in love. I used to be one of the biggest doubters out there.

But love is unpredictable. And love always survives. Somehow, it wins every time.

As I watch the seasons of my life go by in rewind, I feel assured by the knowledge that some people will remember me. And whatever legacy I've left behind will be passed down, until the curtain once more rises on this crazy story of love and loss and the paying of rent.

So for now – goodbye, love. I feel sure we'll meet again someday.

* * *

A/N: I can't believe this is...goodbye...One song before the sun sets, guys? Join me in this medley.

_"Without you - life goes on! But I'm gone! 'Cuz I die without you..."_

**"I long to discover something as true as this is...so with a thousand sweet kisses...oh, lover, I'll cover you..."**

_"Will I wake tomorrow from this nightmare?"_

**"Who do you think you are? Leaving me alone..." Without RENT.**

_"Why does distance make us wise? You were the song all along, and before the song dies! I should tell you, I should tell you - I have always loved you. You can see it in my eyes!"_

**"And when you're dying in America...at the (beginning) of the millenium...you're not alone! I'm not alone!"**

_"I can't believe you're going. I can't believe this family must die..." We won't, by the way. Never. We RENTheads stick together, right?_

**"How did we get here, how the hell?"**

_"It's over."_

**"How we gonna live, how we gonna live, how we gonna live - without RENT?"**

_"Dearly beloved, we gather here to say our goodbyes..."_

**"We're okay..."**

And most of all - VIVA LA VIE BOHEME and NO DAY BUT TODAY.

_Thank you, Jonathan Larson._

I'm gonna cry.


End file.
